2001-12-20 - 11:01 p.m. - +

It's too bad I'm not funny like this. That's comedy baby! Laden means The Barn by the way. My workplace. Sponsored by beer.
bloody repeats
Wow. It started snowing. I forgive the weatherpeople. I love them. Silently falling. So beautiful. I went outside. Do you know how long it is since I've gone outside just to be outside? I'm not kidding when I say years.
snow
Usually when I go out it's to do something. And then I come home as quickly as possible. And I stay inside. Right now. 5 minutes ago. I went out just to be out in the snow. Feel it against my face. Hear it under my feet. It was so good. I was happy. Actually happy. I don't wanna sound melodramatic (never!) but I'm not often really happy. But this felt so good. It felt so right, you know? Everything was beautiful. I went around taking some pictures. Took one of a car. And then the car kinda slowed down and I was starting to wonder where it was going and getting worried and blabla and then I just said to myself "fux them, I'm a weirdo walking around in the snow taking pictures with a smile on my face. If they don't like it they can go to hell and fryyy". Aah. Carefree for a little while.
snow
Hearing the kids. It's dark outside. But it's not too late. Whenever there's snow there will be kids. If I had any friends I'd call them up and go have a snowball fight with them.
snow
The joyful sounds of kids. Their footprints everywhere in the snow. The sounds of someone shoveling snow already. What's the rush? Leave it just for the night at least..
snow
It was all perfect. It's the best I've felt in so long I think.
snow
The last song I was listening to before my mother told me it was snowing and I gleefully grabbed my boots and started skipping around in the newfallen pixie dust was My Dream by Zwan. I had it going in my head for a while. It fit.
snow
As childish as my dreams may be
They're still my dreams
As worthless as these things may seem
They're still my dreams
snow
See? Childish. Running around in the snow. But it's still my dream. I still get the impulse to pretend I'm Han Solo on Hoth. Or to build a snowman. Or to just lie down and let it fall on me. As worthless as these things may seem...
snow
I feel alive.
snow
Hahaaa. I'd kiss you all if you dressed in snow. You know I've never made a snow angel? If it keeps snowing.. I'm going to have to.. Or something. I'm going to have to go outside again. And fly around in the snow.
snow
Giddy. Giddy-giddy. Giddy-up.
snow
Walking in a winter wonderland.
snow
Yes, I took lots of pictures. They all look the same.
snow
This is my mother coming in from our fridge. Still not fixed. Now we've moved everything to the old shed. Cracked roof. Mmmmm. Snow flavoured groceries.
snow
Yeah. But at least everything looks prettier. Even ugly things. Even my footprints.
snow
I'm a rabbit in your headlights.
snow
That's all folks. I don't care bout nothing else right now. You can keep your problems.
snow
Bliss
snow


snow

np: zwan - ring the bells (011214 early show)
snow
...And someone who will never forget my name... and someone who is gonna write it in their book a thousand times...
snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow

back and forth

clix




try to understand
the ones I love and their demands
so unfair when they can't see
that I'm the boy who really needs

your love i suppose

I just want peace
diaryland
to be free at last