Well, everybody's dying... or trying

Starla June seems to live

Pink Ribbon Scars, I hope you live too. I've been there, I've got those ribbons. It's another reason to be late with my email... I'm always late and now I'll be wondering if you'll be there to receive it. sigh.

The only girl who's ever said she loved me tried to kill herself last saturday. She told me today. I hope I did okay... I'm just not the right person to talk someone out of suicide. I get sick inside saying that she mustn't do it when I feel like doing it myself. And scary that I'm a reason not to do it for her. What if I fail her? I always said we were heading for tragedy. Well, she didn't try that hard. And she says she won't again. Probably. But I think I made her see some reasons why not. I hope so. It's so hard when you don't really believe the reasons yourself.

I don't know. This entry sucks. I don't have the mental capacity and maturity to deal with these things. I just want it all to go away. I want to sleep in the snow and not wake up. But there's no snow. And the razor's dull. everybody's bussiness is everybody's bussiness.

who's going to save me?...when I don't want to be saved...

I'm not going to read through this entry. There's no point. It's not going to be better if I edit out the mistakes and inconsistencies. I'm not going to pretend that I know what I'm talking about. I'm not going to try and fit it in to the neatly arranged shoebox under my bedgoodnightfornow