2001-12-05 - 11:20 p.m. - +

Well I'm feeling better. I guess. At least I'm not dead-tired. Just normal tired.
I close my door at night
Is that a fact?
but they get in all right
Maybe the reason I'm not so tired is that I went to work half an hour later today. I decided that since Anker and Cafer hasn't been there for a while there's really no reason for me to walk around between 9 and 10 without anything to do. So I came to work at 9.30 instead. And of course Cafer was there, hah. But anyway. He's still sick. And Anker is slightly seriously ill. Nothing dangerous but he's fragile.. I hope he'll be all right. He's a nice guy.
and she turns on the light
I spent the day in the computer room. Doing very little. Very little indeed. Peter wanted me to look for some drivers for an old computer online. But I couldn't. Because he was doing some backup restoring thingie. Meaning that Computer 1 wasn't online. And when Computer 1 isn't online none of the others are online. Because Computer 1 is the server in the little intra network of ours. I'm just pretending I know what the hell I'm talking about. The point is.. I spent most of the time watching Peter and trying not to fit in.
I held her hands so tight
At one point I managed to ask him about the power thing. You remember.. I had to take the power from my CD drive to get my new hard drive running. So I asked him if there was anything I could do about that. And yes there is. Much like I expected, it's possible to get a splitter thingie. That splits a power cable into two. Neato. He will order one for me. The next time The Barn buys computer supplies. Hopefully a couple of weeks to a month. Then my CD drive will be working. Great. Not that I use it. But my brother will be pleased. He listens to CDs on the computer. And plays some manager game all the time. I live to please my brother.
cause words don't come out right
Then I went shopping. My mum has been gone all day. I bought sausages for dinner. Turned out I didn't feel like eating them. Waste of money. I can never eat sausages if I think about what might be in them or how they look inside. Whenever I do eat sausages I have to distract myself. If I just think about something else then I can eat them.
and she sees things at night
There were russians in Favorit. At least I assume they were Russians. You don't hear a lot of "njet" in Danish shops. They were all laughing and blabbering in their strange tongue. It must be nice. To be able to talk without anyone understanding you. Be able to tell people to fuck off without any consequences. People stop listening when they don't understand you. Mumble-mumble.
from russia with loveski
Love is suicide
loveissuicideloveissuicideloveissuicideloveissuicide
If I could hold them in my hand, I'd make them understand
I'm not a haunted mind, I'm not the thoughtless kind.
If I could put them in a jar, I know they wouldn't scar.
thin white lines...
I'd do it if I could. I hope you know I would.loveissuicide
don't ask...




Yes. And then I got mail. My Untitled single came. Nice. The last breath of the smashing pumpkins. They still get in at night.
I dream in lyrics

just to prove I exist
I remember too much. Better go.
I can never forget
np: zwan - sorrow (011120)

...sorrow... sorrow this time...
pray for rain. pray for thunder. pray for lightning.

back and forth

clix




try to understand
the ones I love and their demands
so unfair when they can't see
that I'm the boy who really needs

your love i suppose

I just want peace
diaryland
to be free at last