FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS: alt.robots.sex v.1.3

Archive-name: biogenics/navanax/ars-faq

Posting-Frequency: fortnightly

Copyright: (c) 1999, 2000 Ars/SGA

Maintainer: Golem III: The Biogenic Sulphur Boy

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alt.robots.sex Frequently-Asked Questions

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1.0 General questions about alt.robots.sex

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1.1 Q. What is alt.robots.sex?

A. alt.robots.sex (Ars) is an unmoderated Usenet newsgroup which

is thriving, in a silent way.

1.2 Q. Who founded Ars, and why?

A. It's believed that it was co-created by a group of "human"

robot-fetishists. An early irony is that they believed

themselves to be regular flesh and blood - in reality none of

them knew they were robots.

1.3 Q. Do Robots really have sex?

A. Of course.

1.4 Q. Who with?

A. Each other, and everyone else.

1.5 Q. How does it work?

A. It's a little complicated, and involves coaxial extraction.

2.0 Ars Culture

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2.1 Q. What kind of people inhabit alt.robots.sex?

A. Deviants, Polyglots, Sesquipedalians, Crypto-Terrorists, And

robots.

2.2 Q. What are their interests, besides Robots and sex?

A: Secret Government. Verbicide. Super humanism. Barcodes. Some

people are holed up in here because they talk in Math and

the Karma Police are after them. A couple are believed to have

extracted themselves from the Matrix and are hiding from Agents.

2.3 Q. How many people really post in here?

A. Not including Spam and cross-posting - one.

2.4 Q. Do you recommend any particular music that I should listen to

while I'm posting or lurking at Ars?

A. Mr. Bungle. Fantômas. Alien Sex Fiend. Pixies. Spastic Echo.

Radiohead. Angelo Badalamenti. The soundtracks to Grease and The

Rocky Horror Picture Show.

2.5 Q. Are there any web-sites I can go to if I want a better

understanding of Ars culture?

A. Only inasmuch as they're there. They don't know we exist.

http://www.shokushu.com/metal/screen.htm

http://ai.iit.nrc.ca/misc.html

http://www.freakdaddys.com/main.htm

http://www.webofmimicry.com

http://www.stileproject.com/

http://www9.50megs.com/witchhazel/

http://www.deathclock.com/

http://www.47.net/47society/47list/

2.6 Q. Does the newsgroup have a slogan?

A. Ars posters must begin their first post of the day with the

words "Ars Assemble!". Their last post of the day must end with

the words "Ave atque vale".

2.7 Q. Are binary posts allowed?

A. Only if they're algorhythms. Or good porn.

3.0 Golem III: The Biogenic Sulphur Boy

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3.1 Q. Who the Hell are you?

A. I'm Golem: The second sequel.

3.2 Q. Who appointed you custodian of the FAQ?

A. The robots.

4.0. Stuff

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4.1 Q. What's going on with the sun?

A. It's a heap of incandescent gas that is likely to

explode any time soon. Hydrogen and helium is/are a lot less

plentiful than we realise. In other words, it's all going to

Hell.

4.2 Q. If you wanted to get somewhere and it took you a long time to

get there, would you want to rush back here?

A. ...

4.3 Q. Where do you stand on the safety aspects of removing ear wax

and nasal film with Q-Tips?

A. I think it's inadvisable, but I have neither ears nor a

nose.

4.4 Q. Then how do you smell?

A. Like sulphur.

(end)

--

Golem III: The Biogenic Sulphur Boy

np> Ars Moriendi; Mr Bungle