What did I do today? I slept mostly. And it seems to have helped. I'm feeling better. Still a little sore around the old body. But not too bad. It doesn't even hurt when I cough anymore. I think. I haven't coughed for a while.

There is really not much to tell. It's the day before the day. Tomorrow is christmas eve. With all the celebrations that go with it. My mother made the ris-a-la-mande today. We don't have a tree. But then it wouldn't fit in our living room anyway I think. Due to my computer setup in the corner. Trees are just messy.

There is a slight chance of snow tomorrow. Maybe a little. Maybe we will have a white christmas after all. Not that it really matters or changes anything. I just... want it anyway. It's christmas. It's supposed to snow.

So much wrong in the world. I want a little right too.

I cannot get enough of this. Nobody 'Cept You. And Winter by Tori Amos. It's funny, I still feel awkward when listening to beautiful emotional music like that when my parents are around. I feel more comfortable putting on some loudish rocking stuff. Zwan doing the Mary jam. I have problems letting my parents see me as a real person. Or maybe I just have problems being a real person. I don't know. I don't know how much they know me, or how much I want them to know. It would be interesting to be able to step into someone else's mind and see how they percieve you. But I don't think I could really bear to do that, I don't really want to see what they see in me.

so when do you become your own man, become your own
or are you just a shadow of something whole?
notice me
I'm sure I'll grow up some day. Nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be so hard.
comfort me
I'm going back to the start.
understand me
np: the marked - christmas song (8512xx)