Hello sailor.

You stop in for a pack of cigarettes... You don't smoke, don't even want to...

I love this cover. You say when he hits you, you don't mind, because when he hurts you, you feel alive, is that what it is?

red lights, grey morning. You stumble out of a hole in the ground, a vampire or a victim... depends who's around...

Download that and get in a pumpkiny mood. And then read this:

Join the smashing pumpkins diaryring! It's full of cool people! And me! Seriously, if you have a diary and you like the smashing pumpkins you should join.

When I saw the new diaryring feature I wasn't thrilled. But of course I can't resist a smashing pumpkins one. So I had to join. And I did.

Don't be a stranger. Join. And if you're not sure that the pumpkins are great then try Towers of Rabble. Isn't that just beautiful? Or Dancing in the Moonlight. Or By Starlight. Or my perhaps favourite song of all time: Blank Page.

I uploaded these live songs before I started my Smashing Pumpkins Song of the Day (Yeah, I can plug it all night, baby).. And now I'll probably have to delete them soon because I still have problems uploading. I need the space on this old server. So if you're going to download any of these then do it before it's too late.

So yeah. The point of all this was: Join the smashing pumpkins diaryring!

This was a paid advertisement on behalf of the smashing pumpkins diaryring. No refunds will be given. Product might cause slight disorientation and general well being. Consult a doctor before using.

Moving on...

I got this email today. What I really like is that it's sent from a "harry". Well, it's signed Alexa but the email address goes Harry...something. And the email goes on to thank me for some sexual encounter. I don't know why everyone thinks I'm gay? Is it the "hello sailor" thing? Oh well. I got the exact same mail from a Belinda a few hours later. "Didn't you get my last memo?"..what the hell kinda subject line is that? Your last memo was about our sexual escapades too? Harry, Alexa, Belinda and Plume. Foursome's are so fun.

I also got a "fwd: how to block spamming" which proceeded to tell me about some great way to make cheap cash online. Kool beens.

Yeah, it's a wacky world.

You know, I don't think I like the new Geri. She's too lean and muscular. I prefer her bigger and softer. And jigglier. Getting jiggly with it. Like in the video clip I downloaded where she walks around naked and... oh wait, don't listen to me. I'd never download such things. I have too much respect for her as an artist. We all know the spice girls have fallen apart without her. It's just sad listening to them now. Where's the magic? Where's the magic I ask? And why isn't there a spice girls diaryring yet? Surely there most be mure spice fans than me?

I wanna make you holler, holler, holler...

lalala. lala.

Mr Sarcasmo strikes back. Subtle as ever.

Peter leaves tomorrow. So good. The computer will be all mine. No petty arguments. It'll all be mellow like a fine Mr craig david video. No chocolate milk being poured into the keyboard. Frankly I don't see the downside to him leaving. Brotherly love. Bootyful.

Yeah, yeah. I said the same things when I was younger.

Bye now

np: pumpkins - to sheila (000926)