I want a love that's true and good. I don't really know what love is. I can be romantic, at least in thoughts. But I can also be selfish and distant I am sure. I don't think I'm very well defined as a human being. I am not very consequent. Just today I have gone from steadfast determination to make my life better and then in the opposite direction of wanting to sleep the day away and eat cola for dinner.

I want to be a good person and to have a good life. But I'm not very good at making the sacrifices to get there. I am constantly doubting myself. I feel like I have potential to be someone good, someone worthwhile. But then again I probably don't so why waste the energy? I want to be loved but I don't really feel deserving of it. And if you don't love yourself who's going to love you? I want to be noticed but I hide away.

Oh well. I am going to abandon this line of thought. And instead ask you for a little help. If you, yes you dear reader, could please visit these pages: one and two. And tell me if the picture on the page loads. If both loads, one loads or none loads. That would be really helpful, just leave the answer in the guestbook. I would most appreciate it. I think my redirection actually DOES work with photobucket, it was just my security settings that were too tight. But I need some input, dear reader, to see if I am right. Thank you.

And now the weekend is over. Tomorrow is another week. I am going to try my best to work positively on my life. The last two weeks have sort of been a slippery slope downwards, I need to grab a hold of a positive attitude and stay there. If I keep sliding down then I will just lose all the good I have fought for. Now is the time to take a stand. We shall fight them on the beaches, we shall fight them... you know, like eveywhere and stuff. Go me.

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