Now I really just want this headache to go away.

Today was a pretty good day. Some good progress.

And a little extra snow overnight.

It's so much nicer going to work when there's snow on the ground.

It was Mazen's goodbye day today. How long has he been working with us? Two weeks? Three? It's not long anyway. But we still had a little gathering.

Although we were only four people. Jan hasn't been to work for weeks, doesn't really look like he's coming back. Health problems. And Lars has been "sick" almost all week. His goodbye day is on Monday, let's hope he comes back for that.

Christian the ex-employee, was going to join us but he got the flu. Henrik was busy. So it was only Sanne, Poul Erik and I. And then Mazen of course.

Too bad he has to go. I was just beginning to see what a fun guy he was. But he needs the money. While we were sitting there and talking he got a call on his cell phone. He got a second job! Hehe. Two jobs. Sanne said it was crazy that he was going to work that much. Pulling down two almost-full-time jobs. But he really, REALLY needs the money I guess. I think he's planning to work for 6-8 months and then start some education. Good for him.

And he liked the George Michael CD that I got. Goody. I didn't fail my mission then.

It was nice. Sitting there talking. A good time. I learned something new about Sanne too. She was planning to study Brazilian at the University. Apparently she was married to a Portuguese guy! Whoda thunk. I didn't get a lot of details but she said that she used to speak Portuguese quite well. But she hasn't used it for a long time. They were divorced sometime in the 90s. Interesting. I know she has a boyfriend now. I'm not surprised. She's a good catch. Lovely woman.

We were sitting up in the cafeteria. That's a wacky place.

Hehe. Sorry I didn't hold the camera steady. For some reason I'm finding it very hard to take good pictures up there in the cafeteria. Oh well. It's probably the lighting up there. Yes, that's what it is. But at least it makes the clown figurine look like it's alive and actually jumping.

And then the rest of the day noodling with this. A new poster. The top part was done by Jan before his health got worse. So all I really have to do is get the text with the menu, date and price set up okay. Nothing fancy.

SELVTILLID

it says. CONFIDENCE. By Clement Behrendt Kjersgaard. That's the second poster I'm doing. And again it's a lecture by a guy who's been on TV. Clement had a program called "Tal med gud". Talking to god. For some reason that reminds me of the Simpsons. Rapping with god? Or something like that. Four leaders from different religions talking about god. It's right out of the Simpsons.

Anyway. Funny thing it's a lecture about confidence. Maybe I should go listen to it hehe.

I'm feeling more and more confident. Saying more and more at work.

Mazen was doing his final updating on our webmaster computer. He was setting up outlook. And Sanne asked him to do something about the spam mails. Mazen started searching for programs online. They cost money. I actually spoke up and said that he could just set up mail rules in outlook. It's not like I'm an expert on that. I don't use outlook very much. But I knew you could set up rules (don't know if that's what they're called in the English version though) that would divert most of the spam into a folder of your own choice. I even showed Mazen how to do it. He's the tech expert! Haha. But the important thing is that I raised my hand and offered my help. I'm really working a lot on opening my mouth more. Being a part of the team. Saying things. It feels good when I accomplish those things.

When I got home there was a letter from the Reva center. A closing status report. Since I'm no longer connected with the center. I'm in the government system now. Anyway, I used the letter as an excuse to talk to my mother. I finally told her about the social phobia.

Such a relief to finally get it out in the open. We didn't have a really long talk about it. But just being honest. Instead of dragging it around as a secret. I told her about the treatment at the anxiety clinic. I told her a little about what had been happening lately. And she was really nice and understanding. As I had expected. And she wasn't very surprised either. She obviously knew that I had some social problems. But I'm sure it's good for her too, to know that things are being done to help.

So that was good. I imagine we'll talk more about it later. But for now it just feels really good to have said it. It feels like another step forward. I have done another hard thing, another thing I couldn't have done a year ago or two. It's really good to feel that progress.

And now I'm just going to enjoy my weekend.

Oh right, I was supposed to tell you about the cute girl in the bar. Well, there's not much to tell. There's a new girl working in the bar. And she's cute. That's about it. Hehe. No, she's real purdie and cute. And she seems nice. And it makes me want to be a normal person so I can have normal things and ask pretty girls on dates. Because pretty girls are nice. Actually cute girls are nice. Anyone can be pretty. Just look at the supermodels. They're pretty. But they're not cute. I wouldn't want to date them.

If I ever get commited I know they'll bring this up. "Does not want to date supermodels. Must be institutionalized".

That was one of the running themes in my closing status from the Reva center. No, no my insanity. But my motivation for making things better. With all my problems the important thing is still that I'm motivated for working to change it all. It's kind of nice that that's the key thing about me. It's not important that I have problems. It's important that I'm motivated and capable of overcoming them. I would like to be seen like that. Not as the person who is down, but as the person who is climbing up.

I don't know. Sometimes it actually feels like I can make it.