I don't need your help, I can abuse myself. Lallala. I feel a slight depression hanging over my head like a damocles sword only less funny in its consequences.

Maybe I'm just tired. I didn't nap well today. It was too hot. Now it's cold. Maybe I should go to bed and sleep. I can hardly think of anything more appealing than the thought of staying in bed.

It's funny. I've never been able to say no. And now I can't say yes. I can save you if you if you let me.

But nevermind. What's in the news today? Nothing. Desiree showed me this a few days ago though. It made me think. It's an amazing recovery and all. Heroic tragic tale.

And then She said: "I thank God that I am here today. When I got hurt on the 88th I said God save me, and he did.
god is in the tv
Things like that always make me wonder. What about all the other people in that building? Did they forget to pray? Maybe they prayed to the wrong god. Maybe they'd stepped on a bug that morning. If there is a god then why isn't he responsible for all that pain and death that happened there? If he's responsible for saving her. I don't get it. Suicide bombs isn't his work but that lady surviving and fighting through that hell, that's his work. Why praise god. Why not praise that woman. Why not praise the doctors.

Why bother.

Maybe I should become a born-again christian. Maybe that would solve everything. Oh ye of little faith. Nothing makes sense.

Pay me no mind. I'm just frustrated. I go, I gone. Bye bye.
can't get rid of the hopelessness
np: weezer - only in dreams (011209)