well, today was eventful. I almost got caught by the police. I almost started a fire. It rained blood. No, that last one is a lie.

On my way to the shop, the shop as you all know well by now, I posted a letter. The mailbox is on the way to the shop. And to easily reach the mailbox I drive my bike on the pavement. Only for 30 seconds, just around a corner. No one gets hurt. But of course you still aren't supposed to drive on the pavement. As I turned the corner, driving on the pavement, a police car came from around said corner. I was sure I'd have to reach into my magic bag and pull out my uzi to shoot my way to freedom. But they ignored me. Maybe didn't even see me. Which is fortunate because the uzi part was just as big a lie as that raining blood thing. Oh and the fire thing isn't my pants, but I'll get to that in a minute. But as I was saying, the cops drove away ignoring my illegal actions and I mailed the damn letter. Good thing I wasn't sending cocaine to my contacts in Paraguay. No wait a minute, since they didn't stop me I could've been sending cocaine to paraguay. Damn, a missed opportunity.

hard drive hard drive I need a hard drive blablabla I can't stand people on napster having more smashing pumpkins songs than me. It ain't fair. I need to collect them, I need to have them. Don't need to listen to them, just need to have them. Like a stamp collection. I'm not going to use the stamps to send letters I just want to be able to say "look, I have all these songs, many more than you do, I'm so important, not worship me because I'm finally somebody, not a nobody, a somebody, I'm the guy with all the smashing pumpkins songs, that's me. On your knees, peasant, I 'm being oppressedd. I fartin you rgeneraldire ction"

Later that day... I reheated some spaghetti. I like reheating things. Spagetthi tastes so much better the day after. So I wanted some bacon bits to mix in. So I fryed a little bacon. Then I put the bacon on a plate. Then I took the old spagetthi and wanted to throw it on the pan to be reheated and fryed to death. But apparently some of the fat from the bacon bits spilled on the heater, the cooking plate?, you know where you put the pan to make it hot like?... and suddenly it was burning. There were flames... it would've been cool if I hadn't been so frightened. I was sure that I was about to burn down the house (I like to play with fire, candles, matches etc and my mother always said I'd burn down the house)... and I do remember some of those "most accidents happen in the kitchen" warning films where a housewife throws water on burning oil or something and the whole neighbourhood explodes. So I was slowly accepting that I'd burn to death when the flames subsided. And disappeared. I almost didn't need to whack them with my cloth. I'll defend my life with my cloth. So that's the story of how I made a campfire in the kitchen. How I flambéed (no idea how that should go) the stove. Anyways, the spaghetti ended up tasting all right, the bacon bits where delicious and all in all I'd recommend eating at Casa de plume. The service sucks but the drinks are free from 9pm to 9.15 pm. 3 stars out of 17. Say Lasse sent you and they'll flambee some spaghetti for you. Now scram, you're cramping my style.

So, it's Bush you wan't? well, you get what you ask for... but when America lies in ruins don't come running to me, I told you to go-go-gore. But did you listen? No. Even though we here in Denmark have the best president ever. Mao Tse-Tsung. the night is bright, you hair is 1986 again (thank you very much), everything is beautiful.

The Danish soccer season ended today. Now it's winter break. Brøndby lost to Herfølge in a crazy game, but we're number 1 anyway. So now it's like 3½ months till the season resumes. I hate winter break. No soccer. No Brøndby. And now no more Ole Bjur. None of you know him. He's played for Brøndby the last 9 years or so. Today was his last game. He's my all time favourite player. He's just so good, a brilliant right-winger. He never made it abroad, he only had a couple of internationals even though he scored in his debut game. He's been up and down. A bit of a mood player. But he's just so goooood. The best right winger ever. He's like the Ryan Giggs of the right wing. Except not as fast and not as pretty boyish. And he's not Welsh either. Ah, America should wake up and smell the coffee!! Soccer's where it's at. Go Kansas, mls champions (I think). Miklos Molnar, danish superstriker, practically won the mls for Kansas. We rule. SOCCER!!!! Oh man, I need to lay of the crack-cocaine. Send it to Paraguay. I remember when me and some of the guys in my class found a bag of white powder hidden in the bushes outside the school yard. We were sure we'd revealed a giant narcotics ring. We proudly went to the principal with the evidence. I think it was potato flour or something. The next break we were back to playing soccer. SOCCER!!! YAEH§!§!§!§!

My phone line ought to go dead soon. At least once every night. Can't be long now. Also my computer is due to explode soon, it hasn't happened at all and we've had it for more than 6-7 months. It has to explode soon or I'll start thinking it might not explode at all! And then I'd have to rethink my whole theory about the cosmos and my goldfish. I don't have a goldfish so that would be hard.

g'night, don't forget to feed your goldfish or the cosmos will annihilate you in a terrible way.

np: pumpkins - story for Today (I was completely obsessed with killing myself, it became my primary preoccupation I guess)

...I'll never be what you need...