Another medical update. Do you like my title for today? I think it's clever.

I was off to the hospital at 11. Wearing my new jacket and new pants. I don't think I have looked this normal in many years. I have been walking around in jogging pants and bad fitting jackets and so on. It's nice that things are starting to change.

I love my new jacket by the way. It rocks. Skye is the best.

So I got to the hospital. And waited for 20-25 minutes. Then the nurse that I'm assigned to came along. Anette. She was very nice. We talked for a bit. She gave me a plan. For the different tests and meetings. She seemed a little surprised that I was bringing urine samples. I kind of got the impression at first that I hadn't needed to do that again after all. But then we went and talked to the doctor and he was surprised when he looked at my papers and said that I had peed 5 litres in one day when I gave the first urine sample. That is of course a mistake. I did it over two days. So if they actually measured my two days' worth or urine as one day then that could explain why the cortisol levels where too high. It might be a measuring mistake. Taking two days' worth of cortisol and thinking it was one day's worth. This opens up the possibility that I don't have Cushing's after all, that it was just a mistake. But I really, really hope not. I really hope it's just some paper error, that they did not screw up the measuring. Not that I'm happy to have Cushing's, but it's just after all this it would be a bit of a blow to have them say "oh we made a mistake, sorry. You don't have Cushing's. Back to square one".

This is of course why it was a good thing that I brought in my second urine sample. Because this time they will make sure to measure it correctly and then we can see if I actually do have too high cortisol levels. And it is still what we expect. Like the nurse said, they don't start all these tests just because of the urine sample, there are other factors. And we're still working from the theory that I have Cushing's. Hopefully the second urine sample will indicate that too.

Really, I do want it to be Cushing's. Because Cushing's causes some things that I have and if I do have Cushing's then those things can be treated and changed. And I want those things to be treated and changed. So I want it to be Cushing's, and I want it to be treatable. Ergo logico magnifico.

The doctor told me a little more about Cushing's. He made a nice little drawing of the inside of the body. With the kidneys and the brain and so on. I guess there are two main ways of having Cushing's. Cushing's disease is when you have the tumor in the pituitary gland. It sits in the head, close to the brain. My eye sight test on Monday is to show if I have a tumor pressuring the sight nerves. And the brain scan in July is I guess to show if there is a tumor, so it's not so much a scan of the brain but more a scan of the area around the brain. As I understand it.

That's Cushing's disease. Then there is Cushing's syndrome. Again this is how I understand it and try to translate it too. But that seems to be caused by some defect or disorder in the adrenal glands, right above the kidneys. Possibly also caused by a tumor in one of those glands. I assume this is why I had the x-rays taken today. They x-rayed my upper body. So they will probably be taking a look at my adrenal glands on those.

So if I have the disease then they will operate and go through the nose. And if I have the syndrome they'll will operate and open up my stomach I guess to get to the adrenal glands.

Doesn't it all sound fun?

This is all me trying to make sense of the information, and something might get lost in the translation, and who knows maybe I don't have any form of Cushing's after all. If you think it's confusing to read about just imagine all the thoughts going through my head.

But yes, I am still keeping positive. I am positive that I want it to be Cushing's and I'm positive that I'll get better.

Cushing's can be cause by malignant tumors too. That's the only place I don't want to go...

But I don't think that's very likely anyway. So no need to worry about that yet.

After the x-rays were done I was about to go home when I thought of something. The nurse had given me a tablet and told me to eat it at 11 tonight and then come in at 8 am tomorrow for a blood sample. But tomorrow is a holiday in Denmark. So I went back to the lab and asked if they were open tomorrow. And they weren't. So it was a good thing that I thought to ask. Instead we moved it a day, I'll eat the tablet tomorrow and go in for the blood sample Friday morning. They're dexamethasone tablets. It's a synthetic steroid, I guess when you take it your body is supposed to stop producing cortisol. But if you have a problem with your adrenal gland then your body continues to produce cortisol. And that's what they'll measure in the blood sample.

So yes. My plan for now is this:

Thursday: eat tablet.

Friday: go for blood sample.

Monday 24th: go for eye test.

Friday 28th: go for a meeting with the nurse and doctor

July 12th: brain scan

It's not the final plan of course. Nurse Anette told me that we'll talking on a turn-to-turn basis. Or whatever you call it. But basically when I go and talk to her we'll schedule the next talk after that. So new items will be added to the plan along the way.

Phew. It's all a lot to take in. I just hope it's not all for nothing. If the second urine sample doesn't show too much cortisol then I don't know what to do. If it does show too much cortisol then I know what to do. The plan. And even though it's a lot to deal with and a little scary at times it's still a plan to follow, a way to get better. And that's what I want.

And it's good to know that there are people supporting me. Like Skye who buys me clothes hehe. And Jane who posts things like this in my guestbook. Awesome!

That's all folks. For today at least. I'm going to enjoy tomorrow, a perfect day off with no hospital, no urine collecting, no nothing. Just you and me and a bottle of relaximojo.

soundtrack: nick drake - poor boy