Mary Star of the Sea. Mary Star of the Sea. Mary Star of the Sea. I can't decide if it's a stupid title or it works. But it's Billy, so eventually I will get used to it. As long as the music is good. And I have no doubt it will be. Zwan is coming atcha. Yo.

Mary Star of the Sea. I think I like it.

Another splendid day of feeling very tired and half-sick. I need my holidays soon. But I managed to drag myself to work. After about an hour I heard Cafer say that he was going to go buy something at Bazar Vest and then go home. Then he comes out and tells me to come with him. I figure he wants me to go to Bazar Vest with him. But when we step out the door of the Barn he stops and sticks his hand out in a handshake gesture. This is where I get a little confused. But I take his hand and we shake and he says "goodbye". This is where I think he's going to pull out a gun and cap me or something. But no, he tells me I can go home. He meant "goodbye, see you tomorrow" not "goodbye, I'm going to kill you infidel". Strictly speaking he doesn't have the authorithy to send me home. But he said something about having talked to Bent and there not being anything for us to do. And frankly I'm not going to question a man who just told me to go home. I was much too tired to do that. So I skip happily home. And tomorrow I meet an hour later than usual so I might actually be able to sleep enough. Good times.

I'm almost ready to finish off my hard drive salvation mission. And it's about time. I need to recover the last missing stuff and then get that drive reformatted and see if I can maybe use it again. I miss downloading music. I miss getting new concerts. And I miss hanging out on the hub, spreading the music. I feel so out of the loop. People are leaking Mashed potatoes, the 5/14 soundboard and whatever else that's been going around. I must get back on the hub and download more. It is my life. A digital life of stamp collecting.

Christmas is coming closer. The weather forecast once again says it will snow over the weekend. I will try not to get my hopes up. I'm looking forward to the break from work. I'm not looking forward to the house full of family. I wish I could get the christmas that I talk about with Skye. Just the two of us. Quiet happiness. I could still sleep a lot. Only I'd wake up to her instead of Plume's Guide To Family Insanity. Give me a little peace, a little quiet, a lot of sleep and Skye. That would be a perfect christmas. But it's my own fault I'm not getting it. I've been a naughty boy. Santa is going to booby-trap my socks. Maybe next year. Hopefully next year. It's nice talking about it though. Thinking about it. And hopefully I'll be good next year. And be able to have it. Cafer has asked me a couple of times what I will be getting my girlfriend for christmas. Perfume? Jewelry? We had a good laugh about how I can't afford any of that. I think his main motive for asking is to find out if I even have a girlfriend. I can't believe I actually do. It took me a while but I actually got there.

It's scary having to get a christmas present for someone who actually matters. I've never really done that before. Christmas shopping in my family has always been unemotional. Mother asks "what do you want to give Peter for christmas". I say "I don't know, buy something from me. The Linie 3 video or something". I'm not proud of it. But that's the family spirit we have. Christmas must be much better when it's with someone you love.

Well, I guess that would go for most things. Profoundly deep I am tonight.

Anyway. I have no place to go this weekend. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

np: nirvana - you know you're right