Well, chapter 8204736: I didn't try to install the hard drive today. I got a nice email from someone who read my post on the newsgroup. He lives around here and would like to help. I guess there still are nice people out there in the world. Unless he just wanted my address so he could break in knowing there's at least a nice computer system to rob. Aaaah. I'm sure it'll go wrong. I sent him an email back and kinda expected an answer today. But nothing today. I'm sure he'll come and fix all my problems tomorrow. For free. Oh yes. Nothing can go wrong with this plan. I'm set for happiness. Well, I'm more positive than yesterday. But oh. It's getting on my nerves.

Time heals but I'm forever broken

Yeah yeah. I just want to lie down on my bed, hide under the blanket and listen to the smashing pumpkins in the darkness.... I've been doing that for 6 years. It's what keeps me going. That and milkshake. Mmm.

Oh and of course the people who read my diary. I love you all. Imagine... november 15th I installed a sitemeter and said I'd take it down a week later because there were no visitors. And today I reached 1000. Wow. I'd hold an academy awards acceptancy kinda speech. "I never thought..." "it means so much...." "thanks to everyone who's helped me along the way..." etc. But wouldn't that just be sad? And we all know I'm not sad. So I'll just say Thank You All.

I walk unadorned.

without a care in this whole world,
without a care in this life

Good to see that doll-hair found the pumpkins. Nothing else matters in this whole world, in this life. Even if her font is killing my eyes.

Oceans are scary. Whenever we took the ferry to visit the family on Zealand (the one in denmark :-) I wouldn't like to look out the window. At all that water. I still get a bit scared. I wonder if I'm afraid of water? My hear beats faster when I swim underwater in Ultima 9. I was genuinely scared by a Sea Dragon/snake monster thing. I met it at night, swimming beneath the surface of a river. It was huge. And scary. And a computer graphic. Oh dear.

Speaking of Ultima. Here's the best villain in any computer game ever:

and the nightmare rides on

It was raining really hard. I mean really really hard. Storming. Not the kind of weather you'd go out in. I was standing at the busstop. It was a funny little scene. Behind me was something like countryside. A field. And in front of me, on the other side of the road, was a few local shops and buildings. It was like the edge of civilization (ok, slight exaggeration). I just wanted to get home. And I wanted the bus to come so I could get out of the rain. I love rain but this was too much. And then the cute asian girl who worked in the supermarket came over. She was taking the same bus. And she had an umbrella. A nice sturdy one. With room for two under it. So there I am in a horrible rain storm and a really cute and pretty girl offers me a space under her umbrella. Now try and guess what I did?

I said no.

"no, I'm okay, here in the worst rainstorm I've ever been in. I'm good". So I stand there in the rain getting soaked. And it was so cold. It was almost hail. Beating fiercely against the side of my face. I swear my ear was numb when I finally got inside in the warm bus.

And that was the story of me, the rain and the asian girl. Oh memories, misty water coloured memories. Of the way we were.
If I knew where I was going I would already be there.
Tell me tell me what you're after, I just wanna get there faster.

Yeah. I'm an idiot.

of being forgotten...

G'night. if you're an idiot like me, don't worry, cause...

Lasse's Deep Thought For The Day: Idiots are people too

np: pumpkins - The aeroplane flies high (970122)

...and all I gave to you is lost, and all you took from me is lost, black wings carry me so high, up to meet you in the sky...