Whattup Landlovers? I'm out here on the good ship Plume, just cruising the high seas. Swooosh.
Guybrush Plumewood
I wanna set up a diving shop in the solomons and spend the rest of my life at the beach drinking iced cola. Kiss my shiny metal ass goodbye, I'm outa here.
rex hunter in paradise
I wish.
for tropical bliss
Bah, I'd drown in 5-10 minutes. On each side. Well done. 4£ or free.
breakfast sold separate
You know it's your lucky day when you're watching an old "cult" movie and a couple of gorgeous girls wants to go bathing and one of them goes "but we didn't bring any bathing suits...". Any movie with that line in it has to be okay, don't you think?
itsy bitsy teeny weenie yellow polka..
And speaking of smut. I joined a "That 70s show" smut yahoo group. Why? Because I want That 70's show smut of course.
smut's the name o' my game
Who doesn't?
don't pretend you don't
Tomorrow my mother, the masochistic penjammer, leaves. Goes to visit family. I think someone's getting confirmated. If that's the word. You know confirming that you believe in god so you can have a great party and nice gifts. I'm not attending. Not because I'm anti-religion. More because I'm anti social. So I get the house to myself for 4-5 days. Suits me. It's going to be nice not wearing a watch for a while again.
let the scars breathe
Hooray for religion.
drop to your knees
And save your prayers for when you're really gonna need 'em.
you can watch me bleed
Ew. The purdie girl just got a tomahawk axe thing thrown in the back of her head. That's one creepy movie actually. Bathing suits or no bathing suits. The psycho killer dude who's picking out the victims one by one is always wearing these porcelain masks.. it's creepy. And that poses a whole nother question: Why am I telling you what I'm watching while I'm typing this?
answer to be revealed in 3..2..1.. now:
The answer is of course that I have nothing interesting to say and I'm just making it up as I go along.
and yet mainting the high quality...
My favourite colour is red.
you can watch me bleed
I like Smashing Pumpkins and Star Wars. Teehee.
Star Wars erotica rules
I don't have a favourite number. But 15 is closest. Taken from my birthday.
do the math yourself
Once upon a time I joined a football club and my coach made me play left-back. I always saw myself as the superstar striker. I guess we didn't see eye to eye on that. That's why I quit. Also because the first day of practice in the indoor season someone kicked a ball in my face. I decided indoors wasn't my scene, maan. So I quit. How's that for rebel? Eh? All the way to reno, mate.
you're gonna be a star
I once made a tape with death threats and left it at the doorstep of a guy I didn't like. I wasn't alone on it. I had a partner in crime. We wanted this dumb guy to move out of our neighbourhood. He did eventually. Though I doubt our tape had anything to do with it. I think we pretended to be mafia bosses on the tape. We didn't want anyone interfering with our bizniz in da hood. So we bossed him outa there. Badass. Just call me Don Plume
an offer you can't refuse
The psycho killer dude caught his wife and brother whoring. So he killed them. And now he's screwed up. Wears masks and kills people that happens to come by his out-of-the-way house. Yikes. There's a lesson there kids: never sleep with your brothers wife. Unless he's outa town.
You can do your sister's husband though
That's it I'm outa here. Hope you enjoyed my childhood stories of mafioso and soccer practice.
And excessive use of "outa"
It's been real.
Real Life (c) Plume 2001
G'night, landlubbers
aaar, matey. Shiver me timbers
np: gorillaz - slow country