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Denmark hi (avi) hi (mpg)
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Tuesday 2005-04-19 - 10:00 p.m. - +
clix?
There's nothing there yet of course. But nonetheless. I now have a website of my own. I am positively excited about it. It'll be fun. Webmaster Plume, it has a certain ring to it. But that's the future. Today was quite good. Went to therapy in the morning. To get to the bus I had to go past the janitor place. And a couple of the jedi kitties were there. Neat. Been a while since I've seen them.
Therapy was fine. Everything is progressing as planned. We talk a lot about situations I have been in, the anxiety I get. The "automatic thoughts" and how to change them. We also started talking about my past. Some of the things that happened to make me withdraw. We'll be talking more about that later. And I have to keep practicing social stuff. It's hard work, being a social phobic. But I had a good time at the playground. I got two compliments. Amazing. First there was a cute little boy who wanted to play with Magnet. I was hanging out with Mathilde.
She's so sweet. She let me scratch her on the head today. And I stroked her body for ages, she didn't mind at all. He asked me: "Why isn't she afraid of you?". Hehe. I know pride is a sin but I can't help feeling proud that I have gotten so close with her. It's a wonderful feeling. He was a cute little boy. Later on he told me that he had lost a 20 krone somewhere. So he ran off to look for it. And then a little later again he came up to me and handed me a coin, asked me if I wanted it. I thought he had found his 20 krone but it turned out to be a 5 øre. Which is like... a dime or a nickel or something. I still thought it was sweet that he wanted me to have it though. His mother was watching me as I had fun with the goats.
Mads was all over me haha. I sat down on a bench. And Mads got up on top of the bench. So he was higher up than me. That was quite fun. And he was doing his best to chew my coat to pieces. The mother said: "The animals... they all love you". Aw. I'm getting this image of being the huge animal friend or something. It's a bit funny. But nice too. It's good affirmation. Having people tell me that Mathilde doesn't trust anyone like she trusts me, that the animals love me. It's good for my confidence. And that the kids come and talk to me, think I'm nice. Excellent social practice.
Those two girls saw me with the camera and shouted at me that I should take their picture. And later on I heard them bragging about it to their friends. "That guy with the camera took a picture of us!". There was a little girl who wanted to play with Magnet too. She said: "I loooove goats". Then she looked at Mads and continued: "...but only the small ones". I guess if you're a little kid then Mads must seem big and scary sometimes. Hey, I almost got a little scared when he was up on the bench over me haha.
Those kids were playing with marbles. That's what its called, right? Mads came over and started eating the marbles. Heh. The kids got all panicky, one of the grownups had to come and get Mads away. I tried to help too. But Mads was very keen on the marbles. Eyeing something shiny...
Magnet was up on the benches too. He's getting really good at climbing. Growing, growing, growing.
Can you see his little horns coming out?
Someone left the tool shed open. Obviously a little puppy goat has to investigate. He was almost getting out on the road too. He was going down to where the road is. I went to pet Mads a little and then suddenly Magnet was nowhere to be seen. I was worried he had run out on the open road. So I started going down there, but then he came running back, back to the safety of the playground. It's not a highly trafficated road, but still no place for a kid goat.
Much better to go out and eat some grass on the field.
Sawdust isn't as yummy as grass. I love my goats. Just walking around with them. I'd stay all day if I could. Had to leave eventually though. Not before saying goodbye to Black and White.
It's cute, when one of them sits down the other one always sits down close by. Partners in crime. It's getting late now. Must get going. I'll leave with a picture of the view from the bus stop outside the anxiety clinic. And one of my mother, the ghost. See ya'll later.
clix
try to understand the ones I love and their demands so unfair when they can't see that I'm the boy who really needs your love i suppose I just want peace diaryland to be free at last |
you can watch me bleed