I am afflicted by a terrible tiredness. I have taken two naps today and both times I woke up feeling even more tired than before. I feel drained. Why are weekends only 2 days? It's not long enough to recharge. Maybe my body is having sugar withdrawal symptoms.

I know there are "work at home" jobs, but are there any "work in your bed" jobs? Any that don't involve hardcore porn, I mean? Maybe some kind of sleep studies, they can hook up electrodes to my brain and measure the dizzy waves and hoopla. You know what I'm talking about. Dreaming for a living. I wonder what kind of pay that makes.

Oh before I forget again, I wanted to quote Karen from work. Yesterday we were discussing the fine arts of cinema. Well, Hollywood blockbusters and Will Smith. But you know us fancy intellectumuals. This is what she said, she said "What was that movie called, the one with the ship that sank?". Can you guess which movie she is referring to? Titanic of course. The one with the ship that sank. Hehe. I thought that was cute.

We didn't discuss movies today. Not much happened. I went and bought vegetables like every Tuesday. It's nice going there, to the bazar. I feel like a regular. Salla greeted me with his usual friendliness. There's another guy who works there who greeted me too. I don't know his name. Salla told me I should be careful when I greet that guy because he was from some village in Turkey. I forget the name. It was a joke. It was nice. The little things like that. Being a regular, being expected, being greeted. Like you belong in the world, in some little way. You may just be the weird white guy who buys vegetables every Tuesday, but at least you're someone. You're playing your part. Stepping out of the shadows. Being seen. Even if that still hurts sometimes. Eyes eyes eyes keep staring. Sometimes I long for the shadows to protect me again.

Speaking of hollywood blockbusters, I'm currently working on a script. "Freddy Vs Jason Vs Plume Vs Pamela Anderson". It's got both dream sequences and hardcore porn. I think we will all enjoy it. If I can get funding. I'm currently in serious talks with Howard Stern about this. I think the biggest problem will be wether Freddy agrees to the full frontal nudity. But we'll see.

There's no way that wouldn't be great. I am so tired it's not even funny. Haha.

np: nothing