For a Monday this wasn't all bad.

Everything is better when there's snow outside.

I went to the park yesterday.

It's better in person. Århus shining in the background. It's quite the view.

I wish the snow could last forever. Maybe I should move to Greenland. Maybe when my dad comes home in a year or two I can take over his place over there. Finally see the real polar bears.

But back to today. An okay day at work. I was tired. But it's Monday so that's no surprise. And I didn't let it stop me.

It was Lars' last day. So we celebrated that. He liked the book. The sillymarillyon. So that was a succes. Mazen liked the CD, Lars liked the book. I am ace at buying presents. We had lasagne, but I just nibbled at the bread and drank water. I don't like lasagne. Funny, I'm just like Garfield when it comes to Mondays, but the exact opposite when it comes to lasagne. I must find another cartoon character to compare myself to.

Lars' last day, Manuel's first. Our new tech guy. Seemed nice enough. It's going to take a little while before I'm comfortable around him, but I'm sure it'll be fine.

The highlight of the workday was when the new cute bar girl touched me. Well, okay she brushed against me as she walked past. But still, that's physical contact. I think I'm going to make her my new highschool-crush. You know, gawk at her from afar and rarely speak to her. That's how I did it in high school anyway.

On my way home in the bus there was an old man with a cane. There were no empty seats for him. He was standing right next to me. I wanted to give him my seat. But I was feeling very self conscious, I was getting scared to talk to him. Stupid social phobia. But with all the progress I've been making I wasn't going to be stopped. So eventually I worked up the courage and asked him if he wanted my seat. I'm glad I could do it. But I really am looking forward to the day when I don't have to spend two minutes working it over in my mind before I'm ready to do such a simple thing.

Still, it's been worse than it is now. And it will be even better in the future. I'm going to beat it.

It feels good to do good things for others. I really want to do good things. Be a good person. I was thinking about karma. Maybe that's good karma? The good feeling you get when you do something for others. I don't know a lot about karma, I mean the proper definition or anything. I always thought of it as "you give something, you get something". You do something good and someone will do something good for you. But maybe the good karma you get back is just that good feeling. Feeling better about yourself, that must be good karma.

I hope I will turn out as a good person. I'm not perfect. I can be selfish. But I really do want to do good things. I really wish the world was like that. That strangers cared about each other. Aw. I know it wouldn't stop wars and make the world a paradise, but if everyone just did a few nice things for strangers every once in a while, then the good karma would be flowing around. The world seems so rough these days. And again I'm not talking about wars and politics and everything. I'm talking about normal people in everyday life. I'm talking about teenagers. Heck, preteens. Drinking, smoking, fighting. I like nice people, haha. That's why the "girls like dangerous boys" thing annoys me. Dangerous boys aren't good! Not the mean type anyway. Why don't girls like shy, sensitive, introverted boys? Why didn't girls like me? They liked Michael M. Big, strong guy. Bully. It always annoyed me. Okay, you don't like me. I understand. I'm not good looking. And I'm so shy that people hardly notice me. I never say much. So I accept you don't fall in love with me. But Michael? Come on. He has wife-beater written all over him. (never judge a book by its cover)

Sorry, I got carried away. But really. Be nice to shy people. They often need it the most. Is my theory, it is.

Now I ought to be finishing off but unfortunately I made the grave mistake of going to the playground so I'm going to have to show you pictures of animals. Sorry.

I was only planning to just check in and then leave again. I was tired from work. But then the piggies were out. And I had to say hello.

I know Miss Piggy is beautiful but when you get up close she's an acquired taste. Hehe. She's fascinating. She's just so big and massive.

And her piglets are so small.

Cute little fellas. After hanging around with them for a while I was going to go, but then suddenly Kees and Blackie were there.

And of course I had to say hello to them too.

I must have a very tasty coat, Blackie is always trying to eat it. It's fun though. And he's a good cuddler. He puts his strength into it, rubbing his face against my arms. He is still my favourite of all the animals.

I was in the "backstage" part. I haven't been in there before.

It's the place where the animals sleep at night, and there are usually people there. People who take care of the animals. It was nice walking around in there, checking the different little buildings out. In one of them there was a group of bunnies huddled together.

Like they were warming each other.

Later on this guy was running around outside, on his own.

I wonder if he was supposed to be running free. The gates were open, he could've run out and away. The geese almost looked like they were planning an escape.

They scared a little girl though. She was there with her mother. One of the geesies went in between her legs sort of. Made the poor girl cry.

She was okay though. A minute later they were saying hi to the horsies.

So that was good. Every time I plan to just say hi to the animals I always end up staying longer. But that's okay. Being with the animals is one of the few situations where I don't have a great longing to get back home and in my room. When I'm with the animals I don't mind being out.

I must move out soon so I can get a kitty.

So, in other news. The oscars, eh? I don't have much of an opinion on them. Since few of the movies have come to Denmark yet. But I noticed that Morgan Freeman got one and that made me happy. He has always been one of my favourites. The ceremony itself makes me queasy though. I didn't see much of it. I don't know if Rock made it more fun but I did see some of those godawful celeb intros and speeches. It's so stupid, you get these famous people up to read from the tele prompter. And there is no reason for it other than "look, it's a famous person". And when the camera cuts to one of the famous people sitting in their seats, trying to look like they don't notice the camera pointing in their face. Eugh. It all seems so phony.

Not all of it I guess. But they should cut away some of the pomp and circumstance. They should put some quiet, shy people in charge.

There will probably be no update tomorrow. Wednesday I have my appointment at the anxiety clinic. Hope that will go okay. I need to get an appointment with my doctor too. I will run out of meds soon. Gotta get a new prescription. And there's something else I want to talk to him about, but I'll get back to that another time. Depending on how it goes.

Finally, I found my oldest, oldest journal. The thing that started it all. All the way back in 1990! Wow. I transcribed it all here. It's in Danish, but trust me. It's deep, deep stuff. Hehe. You can tell I always had a talent for writing.

My favourite (translated) quote:

We played football. Michael M and I were on the same team. It was a very violent game.

Kids and violence, eh?

That's all.