Today was an interesting. Relatively speaking. Ups and downs and a miracle in the sky.

First things first. Cafer was back at work. Slightly sick I think. But he managed to set off the alarm. We have to make sure it's green before we go in the beer room. He didn't. It was red. The alarm went off. Damn, that thing is loud. Very loud. If I stood at a certain angle I could almost feel the shockwave of the sound. I think.

And then my fears were confirmed. I can't get vacation in May. I had planned on going to visit Skye. While her parents go off on vacation. But those plans were made last year and they were sort of based on the fact that it wasn't a problem for me to pretend to be sick and stay away from work. That has become a problem. I feel more responsible, more loyal to the Barn. I can't skip, I've gone more than 3 months without skipping a day. I can't do it. And they can't just give me vacation. So no visit in May. That sucks. And I feel very bad about it. I almost promised that I'd be coming. I had warned her now that it might not happen. But I still hate letting Skye down. Feels like I do it all the time.

I got my hair cut too. She's not too happy about that either. I just needed to start over, get that weight off of my shoulders so to speak. It felt almost orgasmic to get rid of that haystack. But I hate letting Skye down. Always conflicts. I'll let it grow. I do like having long hair too. Even though I look slightly like shit either way.

I was talking to Skye about all of this and then I looked out the windows and what did I see? I saw this. A tiny miracle.

Snow. April 9th. It was snowing. I love snow. I love it so much. It didn't last too long of course. But it was like someone was trying to comfort me. "I know everything sucks, but look. Snow".

I wish I could get a snow storm. A snow storm in April. To cover up everything. A nice cold blanket. I'm so tired.

Hair cuts, snow, let downs, Brøndby beating FCK. Doubts. And the premiere of Lyric. The new Zwan video. It doesn't look like the best video in the world, judging from the crappy mtv player view. But I do like the positivity and smiling. I wish there was more of that around.

Why does it feel like the world is about to fall apart?

np: nothing