The snow is still falling. It's so beautiful. It's so wonderful. I think I am going to seriously consider moving to Greenland. Some day in the future.

It makes me happy. Yesterday I was whistling out loud as I walked home. Smiles all around..

So today's entry. Two days for the price of one. A long entry, with many pictures. I went to the anxiety clinic today of course. But more about that later. First my Tuesday.

We can start off with the morning view. Every morning I stand and wait for the bus to come.

And there it comes. The tenner.

Another snowful day.

That's where I was whistling.

Work was fine and dandy. New guy Thomas started. Big guy with somewhat of a goatee. He looked like he could be a biker if he wanted. But seemed like a nice fella, talked to me a little. I'm sure we'll get along. It's just a bit much to have two new guys starting at once. Manuel too. But I'll get comfortable soon enough. And Manuel might not stay long anyway. Apparently he got a job offer already. So he might leave us now. Just like Mazen left us after a couple of weeks. Geez. Sanne and I had a good laugh about that. As soon as people start in our office then they find a real job and leave. Hah.

There's just one thing about Thomas... he said his girlfriend works in the bar. Uh oh. Could it be the cute new bar girl that I decided to make my highschool-crush? I think it might be. Which means I'll have to kill him. Or he'll have to kill me. Eventually. I envision some sort of duel.

Oh well. There's another cute bar girl. And she actually called me "sweet" yesterday. She didn't say I was sweet, she said it like it was a nickname. Just call me Sweet. Hehe. She needed help with the copier outside our office. And it so happened that I was leaving our office to go to the bathroom. So she asked me for help. And I helped. I like interacting with girls. Girls are cute. I like girls. I feel a longing for girls. And not sexually. I am getting old, I have very little sexual experience. And you know how guys are. So that does fill a lot in my mind. But a longing to just be with a girl. Talk to her. Say sweet things. Touch a shoulder. Hug. I have only ever had that with one girl. Skye. And we only met a few times. I have experienced very little of all that good stuff. I want a girl.

So when I get my courage worked up I'll start dating all the girls who work in the bar, yes. It's a plan.

And the snow kept falling.

All through the night.

Beautiful snow.

And then today came. And I wasn't nervous about going to the clinic. It feels good. To not be scared. To not lie awake the night before and worry.

I had a nice 20 minute walk from the bus stop to the clinic. Enjoying the snow. And when I got inside I was greeted by Tanja, the psychologist. Actually she's a "psychologist intern". She was a lot younger than the woman I talked to the first time I was there. Which made me insecure. Young, pretty girls. As much as I long for them, they still scare me.

But it went fine. Turns out I wont be doing group therapy like I thought. Instead I will be seeing Tanja alone. Every Wednesday. And we will be doing the cognitive therapy. As it were. I think I will be practising situations that are hard for me. Today we just mostly got to know each other. Which means, she got to know me. We talked about my phobia. How it happens, what happens, where it happens. And she gave me a book about overcoming social anxiety. So I'll read some of that before our next session.

Afterwards I went outside and enjoyed the snow before the bus came.

It makes me happy. Did I mention that?

Imagine that. Walking home from something difficult, but being all smiles. It should snow all the time, it would help me.

I'm happy about how it went. The fact that it's not group therapy means it will be easier for me. I can handle it better. And I feel positive. I think it will help me.

Also called the doctor. Made an appointment. And the secretary updated my prescription so I can go to the pharmacy one of the next days and get more meds. So that's all good. Things are proceeding.

Now you may think that's all. But no. I went back to the playground. I have been there a lot lately. Along with the snow, it makes me feel good. I hope you're not bored with the pictures of the same old animals. But frankly my dear, I don't give damn. I love 'em.

And I brought carrots. For the horses. Finally got to feed them.

My pictures of Black Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder often turn out like that. I guess it's a contrast issue. All bright. She's still pretty. Well, I have no idea if it's a she or a he. But pretty nonetheless. She enjoyed the carrots.

So did Horsey. I used to call her Mr Horsey, but since she had a pony running around I guess she must be female. I haven't seen the little fella in a while though. Maybe he's been moved.

But Horsey is still around.

Doesn't she look majestic on the hill there? She's bigger than Black Beauty. It was harder to feed her too. It took a few tries. She almost chewed my hand up haha. It was the first time ever that I tried feeding an animal with a flat hand, like you're supposed to. With the goats and sheep I have just stuck out the bread for them to nip at. But now I tried the flat hand approach, and it did work after a few tries. And Horsey enjoyed the carrots too. It was good to get to feed them. They deserve some treats too.

Sometimes they chase each other around.

Or rather, Horsey chases Black Beauty. Horsey is the biggest. And obviously the dominant one. I'm not quite sure what the chasing is about. If it's a power game. Or if they just like running around. Reminded me a little of the standoff between Blackie and the lamb. Which almost happened again today.

I think he just wants to remind everyone that he's the king.

Good to see the gang again.

And look, the lambs are almost as big as Mother sheep now.

All in all, I am happy. Still happy. There is still a lot of work to be done. But it feels good to be happy. It feels really good.

I could get used to this feeling.