So today was evenful, compared to the other vacation days so far.

I got up fairly early. I love when I consider 10 am early. Haha. I wish I had vacation always.

Went to the doctor, guess what he told me, guess what he told me?

Oops, must stop singing like Sinead.

So anyway. Things went fine at the doctor's. He gave me a prescription for more meds. I'm not really feeling any effects yet, but it takes time so that's to be expected. I am having side effects though. Sexually wise. Cough. I'll let Ozzy Osbourne explain it.

Yes. It's not funny. Ozzy may be a freakshow but he's right though. It's depressing when you go on anti depressants and then suddenly you can't function properly. Sexually speaking. I guess it's a good thing my girlfriend is in the Netherlands haha. Hah. So at least it only spoils the fun for myself.

It did depress me a lot at first though. See I don't have so many good things in my life. I have a lot of emptiness. There were a few things that gave me pleasure. Drinking soda. Eating candy. Masturbating. Sleeping. Oh this makes me come off as such a great person. But anyway. No reason to be embarrassed right? Right? So what do I have left now? Sleeping. That's what I have left. At least I have vacation so I can sleep a lot. When vacation is over then there will be nothing left...

But then hopefully this will help me build a new life. One that isn't based on unhealthy sinning. Hey, maybe I'll even stop going blind.

My doc asked me if I wanted to go off the medication because of this. But no. I have to give the meds a chance. I have to hope they will help me get better. That's more important than.. you know what. Boys will be boys.

Hum de hum. I always knew I was turning into Ozzy. It was in the cards.

And then my father came home. He was here when I got back from the doc. I'm not sure how I'm feeling about that. On one hand it's nice to see him. And there hasn't been any trouble. On the other hand I have this "why don't you go back to Greenland since you like that place better than home" thing and also I know there will be typical family woes a-coming. Tomorrow is christmas eve, the perfect day for arguing and such. But we'll see. Mostly it just annoys me that he sits up late like I do. I want the living room for myself. Spoilt little boys will be spoilt little boys.

I dreamt of aliens last night. Not surprising I guess, since I'm watching the series on DVD and reading about the scripts and everything. Why couldn't those damn meds have caused weird dreams instead of witholding orgasms? Stupid stupid. Doctor said that the pills were also used to help people who suffer from premature ejaculation. Couldn't they like design TWO pills? One that helps against depression and social phobia. And another that helps against premature ejaculation and normal dreams. Whose bright idea was it to make a wonderpill that accomplished it all in one go?

But at least now I can disable my spam filter. I'm gonna need those free viagra pills now I guess.

Oh well. Rock on.

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