An Apology:

I apologize for the link to the Machina Acoustic Demos I gave in my last entry. They are the most beautiful music you'll ever hear but those mp3's aren't very good quality. The only thing that makes me feel better is that I'm pretty sure none of my 2½ readers tried to download any. Cause you don't know what's good for you. Get the Machina Acoustic Demos. Let Me Give The World To You. Speed Kills. Any of them. Catch me on Napster, my screename is BoyWhoReallyNeeds. I got the good quality. Of course my line is sucky. Get them though. Get them.

Okay.

Let me just use this opportunity to thank Sarra. If she reads this. It meant a lot what you said. Thanks..

So....

A funny thing happened today. Actually nothing at all happened today, much as I predicted. But check this out:

caddymain4: Mikey.. here's that link I told you about man. That really funny taco bell sign. Click on this: http://www.breadbag.com/pages/30.html

caddymain4: Sorry about that. that message was for someone else. I must have somehow clicked on the wrong name in that Find-a-Buddy thing. sorry about that.

Pumpkinide: that's okay

Wasn't that hilarious? I laughed so hard my pants fell off. Here's that really funny taco bell sign. wtf? hehe.

Well, apart from that there's really not much to say. I can't be bothered to do a long and meaningful lookback or anything.. what's the point?

Oooooh, my mind was gone. One exciting thing did happen! The local water is poisoned! No fooling. Isn't that something. Well, I live right outside the area where sumthin bad leaked into the water supply. So I probably wouldn't have been killed if I'd consumed a large amount of it. I mean I live just outside the danger area. I didn't know about it till me mother came home later that day, she told me about it and turned on the news. They had a nice diagram. We live just outside the square. The square of death. Apart from the fact that no one died. I think. But I was home all day not knowing the potential danger. I wouldn't have known if my water was poisoned. Wow. I wonder if I'd drunk any if I'd known it was poisonous. I mean as a whole killing myself getting out of the misery thing. Probably not. I'm too scared. It sucks being scared of dying if you wanna die. That's just no good. But I'm sure the water wouldn't have been lethal either. Just some pain and hospitalizing probably. That's not what I want. Can't they just poison the water properly?!?!? hahaha, that's so funny my pants fell back on.

Speaking off pants coming off and on. I accidentally put a fake picture of Salma Hayek being titty fucked on as our desktop picture. Whooops! I panicked there for a moment since I've never messed about with desktop pictures or anything. Didn't know how to fix it. I was sure that my mother would come home and turn the family computer on and see Salma Hayek getting titty fucked. Wouldn't that have been something? Well, I managed to delete it. But yes, I'm a pervert and a freak. Well, I'm lonely and I get frustrated. That's my defense. Now what else can I say to make you despise and loathe me even more? I'm going bald. I can't wait till I'm bald. Hopefully won't happen to soon. But everytime I take a nice long (and I mean looooong) bath and wash my nice and long hair (I need a haircut) I always end up with a fistfull of hair. Right now my hair is gorgeous of course (after all I AM one sexy bitch) but it's going. I'm going to end up looking like George Costanza from Seinfeld. Only more neurotic. Ah, yeah,,,, the future's looking bright. I can't wait for tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after. Well, actually Brøndby are playing tomorrow. Live on tv. So that'll be kewl. It's nice when they broadcast a Brøndby game. One of the few occasions I actually have something to look forward to. Sad. sad little life you lead. And you're lying sad peter pan.

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I just took a break. Watched some tv. The radio was playing. I heard two songs. Both bringing back memories. Weird. The first one was Silverflame. By Dizzy Mizz Lizzy. A danish band. They're broken up now. They were riding the grunge wave back then. "Sorrow is my only friend"... I used to skip school and sit in front of my old amiga and play Warlords ScenarioBuilder. Building whole fantasy worlds. Cities, heroes, monsters etc. And I'd listen to my Dizzy Mizz Lizzy tape. The lyrics weren't that good, some of them just plain nonsense. But the music was coolish. And I'd design all those worlds. And then play campaigns in them. I'd listen to the radio too. I got addicted to a radio show that was on between 9-12 am. So how's a lazy bastards supposed to keep up with school? Probably the beginning of the end. I was good in school. Well, at the school stuff anyway. But now here I am. Whatever

The other song. I don't know the title. "Footsteps on the dancefloor reminds me baby of you. Teardrops in my eyes, next time I'll be true". Not really a song I'd normally like. The kind of song they'd play at parties. I danced with a girl to that song. I think that happened.... just about twice. Twice in my life. I'm getting depressed now. Starting to cry. Thinking about all that shit. All those parties where I sat in the corner. Haha, like a fucking movie. Wallflower. Everybody partying. Feeling the cold air when walking home, relieved that it was over. Sad that it was wasted. That one time when I was sitting and talking to Christian. Everyone else was doing some group dance. Then Camilla came over. Asked Christian to come over and join the fun. Ignoring me. It was a FUCKING group dance, everybody dancing. Didn't cast a glance in my direction. Ah, Christian was a good sport. Stayed put. Kept me company. Fucking hell. "and the music don't feel like it felt when I felt it with you". I danced with sara once. That was beautiful. Too bad it was one of the quicksong stupiddance things. I wish ít had been slow. That would have been nice. Yeah. GOd I fucking hate everything. Fucking hate everything. I wish I had poison water right now. And I wish I didn't know that if I had it I wouldn't drink it. Pissoffselfesteem.

Well, so we got another trip down memory lane. And it meant nothing as usual. Youth is wasted on the young. I fuckin wasted it. But then I'm wasted whatever-I-am-now too. So that's okay. I'm just sitting in front of the screen waiting for the nothingness. I'm your pillar. Of stone.

I can't be bothered. Goodnight. Hope you sleep well. Hope you live well. Hope you're happy. Hope you dance with someone you like tonight or tomorrow or sometime soon. Hope you pity me, cause as Mr. Costanza said... pity is underrated. I like pity. Self pity is even better. Sigh and the art of goodnight

NP: Pumpkins - Siamese Dream (motherfuckers try to crack your crown, break you up and suck you out, scoop you up like a little fish, make you wish for more than this)

...I need a love to help me find my way, I need a strength that I cannot betray