So are you all ready for the big medical update? You better be.

Well, first of all the smart ones will already have figured out that I didn't get admitted. I don't have to stay at the hospital, not for now anyway. I'm outpatient at the moment. And happy about it too.

It was the first thing the doctor said when I got to see him. The chief of medicine or something like that. A fancy title. I'm not sure if he was like top doctor there or if it's just a nice title and there are loads of them. But anyway, the first thing he said was "well I can see that you've been scheduled to be admitted, but I really don't think that's actually necessary". And I very quickly agreed with him. But it's just common sense really. It would have been a tremendous waste of resources if they had admitted me when I function perfectly fine for 90% of the time. And even when I don't function fine, I'm still "just" tired. Nothing acutely serious.

So that was a load off my mind right from the get-go. Which was nice. I was plenty nervous in the morning of course. Taking busses, new routes. Finding the place. It was a different hospital, did I mention that? I guess this was the district hospital or so. Not the one my mother works at. A lot bigger. And a lot farther away. When I found it I was walking down the "hospital" road to get to the right building. And suddenly a whole herd of doctors and nurses came walking in my direction. It looked a little like a school on field trip or something. Strange sight. They came walking in a big group and then they started splitting up and entering different buildings. Maybe they had all been having breakfast together in the mass and now they were getting back to work. I don't know.

Anyway, I found the right place eventually. And the doc lead me into a little room where we sat down and talked. He asked me a lot of diagnostic questions. Listened to me breathing. Did a simple sight test. Looked at me. And then he told me that he thinks I have Cushing's disease. Yes, it seems that just like diabetes I will have to give up the certain presumption that I have hypothyroidism. Just goes to show you shouldn't presume. And I shouldn't presume I have Cushing's either I guess. But that was what the doctor said. And that is what I'm being tested for now.

It makes sense really. Cushing's. It's the disease he suspects I have, not the syndrome. But yes some of the symptoms do fit. I do kind of have a "moon" face. And I have a thick neck. Damn, I have to write this stuff down in case I ever have to post a dating ad. I have stretch marks too. And my cortisol levels are too high. So it seems likely.

I will need more tests of course. To narrow it all down. First of all a nurse came and gave me some containers so I could do the urine sample over again. Nooooo. I hate that. Oh well. They have to be sure that I actually do have high cortisol levels and the first test wasn't just a fluke. So I'm doing that again. Fun fun. Then the nurse lead me into another part of the hospital. And another nurse performed an EKG scan on me. Which was uncomfortable. Mainly because I had to take off my shirt. After that she took a bunch of blood samples. And then I was done for the day. Next wednesday I have to go back and give them my urine samples and get x-rays taken. And they might call me in for other tests too. But hopefully I will have definite answers on Wednesday. Or at least soon after that.

So that was a lot. I'm not incredily happy at the prospect of Cushing's. Hypothyroidism seemed a lot simpler and easier to treat. As far as I can tell it's very likely that I'll need surgery if I have Cushing's. The most common cause of it is a benign tumor in the pituitary gland. That was why the doc tested my eye sight too. Because the tumor can put pressure on your eyes or something like that. He just tested my sight by putting some fingers up though, I think I may possible be called in for a more thorough test on that too.

But yes. An operation wouldn't be nice. I really dislike the idea of being inpatient. Of staying at the hospital. I almost dislike that more than the operation itself. Sleeping in a hospital ward. The people. Going to the bathroom in a hospital gown like that old man I saw today. Having to wheel the TV in if I want to watch something. I really do need the safety of my own room. My own things. My own routines.

But the operation itself is not nice either. I think it's fairly common, not anything high-risk. But of course nobody likes surgery. It would be fully anesthetized, for an our or two. I don't know how heavy it is, how long I'd have to stay at the hospital.

In any case I just want to get better. The doctor said that most people with Cushing's could almost fully recover. And I have high hopes that I will be able to feel better. And even look better. So I'm just looking at the positives. Things are progressing. I don't want to scare myself or Skye. I have been watching the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy tv series and must quote the book: "Don't Panic". It's good advice. I'll get through it all and it's for the better.

Speaking of TV shows: Danish TV3 is showing two episodes of Scrubs every day. I have been taping them all. And been watching the first tape a lot lately. It was quite peculiar sitting in the hospital waiting room. The white walls. The doctors and nurses coming and going. The patients in the gowns. I was half expecting JD or Dr Cox or Kelso or someone to come walking down the hall.

So that was a big day okay. I'm just glad I didn't have to get admitted. I brought a bag with my new books and Peter let me borrow his discman so I brought my brilliant mix CDs. And stuff to write with. And toilet supplies. But all in all it ended up taking less than two hours.

Now I have to go to work tomorrow though. I wasn't expecting that. I called in before I went to the hospital. Couldn't get a hold of Ester or Gitte. But got through to Knud-Erik and gave him the message. Told him I probably wouln't be back before Friday or possibly next week. Oh well. On Wednesday I have the x-rays, and I'll ask if I can get Monday and Tuesday off for the urine sampling. I really hate going to work when that's going on. I have a very active bladder. I case you wanted to know. Also Thursday is a holiday in Denmark. So possibly I could have almost all next week off. So don't say it doesn't pay to be diseased.

I should probably talk to them about my workhours. It looks like I definitely have a medical reason for my fatigue. So I shouldn't force myself to sit and feel bad for hours should I? I mean we thought it was just a matter of me getting used to longer work days. But it's not. I can't get used to this, I have to have medication and/or surgery. When I'm all cured then I can work on longer hours. Right?

Yes, who would've thought. I really didn't expect this when I went to the doctor. But it was really good that I went. I wonder how long it would have been before someone else had asked to go. I'm normally not good at taking iniatives. I'm really, really glad that I went back to Gitte's office that day we had the talk. That I went back and talked to her about seeing a doctor. I almost dropped the whole thing. I almost decided to forget that thought. And now look. I really did need to see a doc. I wonder if anyone else would have made me go if I hadn't iniated it. Gillian the phys did talk about me seeing the Reva center's doctor some time to see if I had some hormonal deficiencies or something. So I guess that would eventually have lead to this diagnosis too.

Anyway. Another step down the path, on the right track to getting better I hope. If I do have Cushing's and if I do get it succesfully treated then I think it could make a really big difference in my life. Look at this photo page. The first two. The before/after. What a huge difference. I shouldn't get my hopes up of course. But I do hope this will turn out to be a good thing. If I can just get through it all okay.

And hopefully you're not all bored with the medical mumbo jumbo. Just to restore a little normality at the end of the entry here is a picture I took yesterday, before all this Cushing's happened. Horsey and the baby. Aw. Animals make me happy.

The end. For now.

np: nothing