So how was my first day on medication? Well, I didn't sleep too well last night. And I was feeling a bit nauseous in the morning. I don't know if it was due to the meds or just something random though.

I was just being a little too self-aware last night. I have never taken medication like this before, I think I was lying in bed and trying to see if I could feel anything happening. For some reason I was very aware of my own heart beating. It felt like it was beating stronger than usual, but it was probably just in my head. I mean, it was psychological. I don't mean that my heart was iterally in my head. Duh.

It's still an odd concept to me. Anti depressant. Lykkepiller. Happy pills. Will they make me happy? How do I know if it's my own happiness or it's the pills? I saw a cute little dog in the park and it made me smile. What if it was the pills that made me smile?

Yeah, yeah I know they haven't even kicked in yet. But it's just the idea. How do I know if I'm having a good day or if it's just the pills? I guess I shouldn't think about it so much, it doesn't make sense anyway.

We'll see how it goes.

Got good news today. My vacation with Skye is finally confirmed and settled. I spoke with my social worker today and she gave me permission to leave the country. Weet. I just need to fill in a form and then it's all done. And also my internship at Kulturgyngen has been extended. Three extra months. It won't actually be an internship anymore. It'll be "aktivering". Activation. Or whatever. More like a real job, but still with a time limit. Three months after new years. After that it can still be extended . Most people are there for 6 months I think.

But that's good. That's my immediate future then. Working at Kulturgyngen, taking medication and hopefully getting into the angst clinic. It's a plan. Let's hope it works and I can get on with my life.

And 1½ weeks till vacation. Oh yeah. I'm looking forward to that. No one should have to get up while the moon is still up.

Also, do you know what this is? It's a store that sells beds. How horribly cruel is it to place a store like that on the way I walk every morning? It's like mocking me. They know all I want is to be in my sweet, comfy bed.

It's the same evil force that puts a bakery on my way too. Hungry, tired morning. With shops full of beds and cakes and everything I could possibly desire. Probably.

But I do like walking through the city in the morning. Downtown people. Sunrise over the river.

And if I have a little time to spare when I go home I can go look at the birds. And the bird lady. I should bring bread one day. Make a ballet of gulls in flight.

It's not all bad. Oh yes, something nice happened at work. I went up in the cafeteria/bar to get my glass of lemonade. I get a glass for lunch every day. And I guess they know me by now. The guy behind the counter saw me and sort of pointed at me and said "lemonade, right?". Hehe. I'm part of the gang. Or maybe I'm just "crazy lemonade guy" that they laugh at. I don't know. The girl who poured the lemonade knew me too. "Big glass with ice, right?". Yup, that's how I always take it. She even asked if I wanted a straw with it, I didn't know you could get straws. No one ever offered me one before. How sweet.

I feel like a regular now. From now on I'll just walk up to the bar and say "the usual, good sir/ma'am". And put it on my tab.

Now I must be off to pop a pill. Toodles.

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