I was only alive for about 2 years of the 70s. And I spent those years mostly drooling, I think. But still it's safe to say that IT'S VACATION NOW BABY!

There. I had to get that out. I am now officially on vacation. This means the following: 1) I will sleep. 2) I will sleep more. 3) And then I'll sleep again because I can.

I'm sure it will mean other things too. But those are the 3 main points.

I swear I should be a bear (a poetic one even). Hibernation is too cool a concept.

Show me the way to the bed and I will follow.

So, my father dear is on his way. Coming home from Greenland. He called an hour ago. From the airport. He should be here around 1 am tonight. And then the whole family will be together.

Big bear claws.

Oh well. I guess it will be okay. I will sleep my way through most of it. And at least things seem to be a little better between my parents so hopefully I won't have to sit through endless arguments. Hopefully all the bitter hatred and frustration will be neatly hidden beneath the surface and we can get through the two weeks without killing each other.

Big bear teeth.

My family is the cross I bear. And I am the thorns around their heads. I had a nice fight with my mother today. Which left me feeling sad and worthless. And it was pretty much my own fault. For overreacting. But still, it's been too long since the last time I cowered beneath my sheets and wished intensely to die.

Big bad bear breath on my neck.

It's frustrating to see my mother and I slipping back to the bad old ways. Letting little things aggravate us. I have to try to remember the good she has done for me lately. I have to try to not sink into the frustrated routines. I have to try.

Someone did a google search for "self esteem song". I want to write that. It would go something like "I suck I suck I suck lalala I suck I suck I suck". Instant classic.

The snow is teasing me. It keeps falling in low numbers. It's nice to walk around in but it doesn't stick and it doesn't gather strength. It's like a fading memory, barely there. I need a snow storm. To cover up everything.

Winter. Skye sent me Winter by Tori Amos. It's very beautiful. You can't go wrong with pianos. If you didn't feel like downloading the 30mb mov file I linked to yesterday you should at least get the audio. I encoded it at a low low rate so it's a purdie small file. I really like that song. Turns out it's a Bob Dylan tune. Nobody 'Cept You. I dig it. Pajo does a great cover. Even if it starts a bit insecure. I'm a stranger here and no one sees me 'cept you, yeah you. No one sees me 'cept Skye, yeah Skye.

Hibernation is hip.

np: tori amos - winter