I'm tired. I want to go lie down in the dark and listen to the rain. Have you ever heard the rain?

Nothing to report today. All is quiet on the western front. You and me.

My dad is no longer working. I guess the sick teacher came back. And my mother is still recovering from her operation. And Peter comes by to use the old computer all the time. The house is full of people. I really could use some privacy. Maybe when Skye leaves after our christmas together I will barricade myself in Peter's appartment and not give it back to him. Hehe. You can huff and you can puff. A place to call my own, I could use that.

You and me.

7 workdays left before I stop at the barn. I made more videoclips today. Of the people. Memories on tape. I'm going to miss it there. If it wasn't for my lack of ambition I probably would have been long gone. But it's just such a rare thing for me to find a place where I actually am sort of confident. The project at the reva center will probably only last 2-4 months, it's very possibly that I won't manage to find myself feeling comfortable there at all before I leave again. I am a comfy-addict. Not to get philosological or anythings but I probably need to find a way to feel comfortable in my own skin, with my self, before it will be easier to feel comfortable in other places.

Ooh, there's something to work on.

December 11th today. (The rest of my dvds should have arrived on the 10th, damn you dvdoo). So click the candle and get a little African treat.

Africa is funny isn't it? I mean, it's so different. There are like lions and tigers. I presume. I wonder what the odds are of being born in Europe or America. How big are the chances that you're going to live your life in a pile of dirt, fighting to even get something to eat? And how big are the chances that you'll be born into safety and comfort and plentiness? I don't know. We should all appreciate what we have because no matter what you can be pretty sure there is someone worse off out there.

Today's positive message.

Oh and I didn't mean to imply that all Africans live in a pile of dirt or anything. Lions and tigers probably do though.

I think I'm going to go read my old National Geographics.

Bye now.

np: rem - leave